April 10, 2014
What Has Changed Since Last Year Part 3: It's Okay to Change
Change is an Adventure, Not a Weakness
Now this one is going to be a no-brainer for most folks, but it was a big revelation for me. I have always felt that I had to stay true to everything that I was, including everything that I loved and enjoyed. For instance, I felt guilty for getting tired of a song that I initially liked but heard too many times on the radio. Worse, it seemed that my opinions on important subjects were supposed to never change. If I said something that was different than the way I thought back in high school, it would be jumped on and my inconsistency pointed out. And I would feel guilty. As if a 30 year old shouldn't know more than a 15 year old and have opinions that have matured with experience.
I had planned to have 3 children. After my horrific birth experience, I realized I couldn't go through all that again and come out halfway sane. So we have taken steps, and The Precious is to be an only child. Sometimes I feel guilty, but then I have flashbacks. Maybe that's one of the things that brought about this change in attitude.
Over this past year I have come to realize what most people already know: it's okay to change as you get older. Of course you're not going to want to wear the same clothes you wore when you were 13 once you are 30! It's okay to get rid of your amazing headband collection if wearing headbands now makes you feel like you're "mutton dressed as lamb." There's nothing wrong with not wanting to watch movies that made you laugh ten years ago but are annoying to you now--you're not being disloyal. It's called growing up.
I expect others to change their opinions based on new evidence but hate myself if I do so. Now I see how incredibly silly that is. To not change as you learn and explore is to guarantee stagnation. Rather than sitting around wondering how on earth I ended up being someone who plays video games as often as reading books and has elevated Tolkien to the same level as Jane Austen in my estimation, someone who loves anime as much as my dear old Britcoms, someone who has gone from believing Audrey Hepburn the ultimate icon to idolizing Helena Bonham Carter...I can just sit back and enjoy the ride.
I admit I am not always sure who I am now, but it should be interesting to find out.
PS. I am leaving out some rather important and huge changes in my ideology as I think most would find them uninteresting if not downright offensive. I had thought about making this a much deeper article but don't feel like dealing with hate mail right now. It is much too early in the morning.